Hello world. I am John Bohannon. Here is what happened:

Experiment Results
Follow a girl to Oxford Broke up with the girl, but got a PhD in molecular biology
Become a correspondent for Science Explored the world, wrote many stories
Create the “Dance Your PhD” contest Performed at TEDxBrussels in 2011 (and in 2012 at TED)
Become a visiting scholar at Harvard and then embed with military forces in Afghanistan Engineered the first ever voluntary release of civilian casualty data by the military and the United Nations
Test whether people can distinguish the taste of paté versus dog food Caused Stephen Colbert to eat cat food on television
Write “Green Porno” with Isabella Rossellini Caused Jon Stewart to share his fear of bedbugs on the Daily Show
Work with the Cultural Observatory on data representing 5% of all books ever published Created the Science Hall of Fame
Submit hundreds of fake papers to fee-charging open-access scientific journals Revealed that 60% of them are not doing peer review
Do a chocolate weight-loss study and p-hack the data Triggered a junk science media orgy
Worked with the hacker in (probably) Russia who runs Sci-Hub to publicly release a dataset of 28 million downloads Created a global reading map of the world's largest illegal library
Joined my friend Sean Gourley's tech startup Primer Reverse-engineering myself right now...

Say hello to me.